My Teej Experience as an Unmarried Girl in Nepal
From the time I was a little kid, living in Nepal, I had festivals that brought color and meaning to my life. While different festivals have their own significance and beauty, one festival has a special place in my heart: Teej! I am now married; as a young, unmarried girl, I was not fasting for a husband, but I have always participated in every ritual since it’s part of culture, discipline, and about honoring women. This year, my Teej was quite the adventure! I prayed, I fasted, I danced, and made so many special memories that I will never forget.
I woke up early in the morning feeling excited about all the experiences that would happen that day. After bathing, I wore a bright red saree I had shopped for days before. I layered on green and red bangles, placed some tika on my forehead, and put on my simple necklace and earrings. The mirror showed not just me but the spirit of Teej. Throughout the entire preparations, my mother and I collected pure flowers, fruits, a few mystical puja diya, and of course, made our way to the temple, all the while capturing pictures with my cousins.
There were women everywhere in gorgeous red attire – all making their way to the temple for a similar serious intention. I joined the line at the Shiva temple. I had my offerings. The temple smelled wonderful incense flowed freely. Bells rang up ahead and devotional songs was somewhere in the distance. When it was finally my turn, I bowed my head in front of Lord Shiva, placed flowers down, and decorated a diya with a flame. I closed my eyes and prayed- not for marriage but for love, peace, and strength in my life. I was proud to be among so many women, intertwined in a strong tradition.
Once our tour to the temple was over, my fast began in earnest. It was a nirjala vrat- no food or water.At first, I wasn’t anticipating this to be too tough, but by noon, my stomach started to feel dehydrated, and my thirst proved to bring discomfort. It was easy to remind myself that fasting is not just a physical thing; it is also about willpower. Therefore devotion to the fast itself. I felt incredibly lucky to be supported by my cousins, aunts, and friends who were also fasting on Teej – they kept me positive. We swapped stories, laughed, and temporarily forgot about being hungry in each other’s company
By late afternoon, the low tone had cleared and was now a time of celebration. I found myself with a group of women in a courtyard, with the madal drum steadily beating. Teej songs filled the air, songs of love, songs of challenges and struggles for women, and songs of extraordinary joy. I started dancing. By that point, I had been gifted my gleaming saree and bangles, and my feet were moving independently of my thoughts. I had almost forgotten that I was fasting. The music, the laughter, and the connection of all the women dancing together somehow energized me with new life.
As the sun started to sink lower in the sky. I walked home for evening puja to again offer my prayers to Lord Shiva as a family unit. I sat in silence and reflected on the day’s events; on the hunger, the prayers, the dancing, and the laughter. When it was time for the puja to begin, I also had my first sip of water for the day. It was the sweetest blessing. Though I had not eaten for a day. When I had some fruit and a very light meal, it tasted more satisfying than any meal I might have imagined as a feast.
As I lay in bed that night, tired but pleased. I began to sort out what Teej really means for me. It is so much more than fasting; it is a different embodiment of empowerment, keeping a community, and trust. I see where I gain value as an unmarried girl, not because I am expecting my future husband. But because it allows me to reclaim my roots. The women in my own family, and the generations of women who have practiced this tradition. Every Teej, I get to experience the joy of putting on red, singing in song, dancing with friends, and going to temples. I feel a sense of pride in the larger community. I see Teej as celebrating womanhood, resilience, and having fun together.